Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I have a friend from H.S. and college who died this week in a motorcycle accident. I remember the first time we started talking, in the River Hills Mall in Mankato, realizing we had a mutual friend (Deb) and a mutual interest in mountain biking. ""Hey maybe we should ride sometime"....."Yeah, that sounds great actually" began a friendship. I have many memories of being called in the middle of the night... "Wake up sleepy head, you wanna ride?" and I'd rub my eyes and head out my door. Who knew the streets and trails in and around Mankato could be so exciting at 1:00am, but they were. I'd rather have been doing that on a Friday night then walking out of a bar anyday.

He was in our wedding, and when we moved to CA we lost touch, and I couldn't seem to track him down through any of the grapevines. Recently we got back in touch on Facebook, and sent each other little notes once in awhile. He was 30 years old, and had many years of life yet he should have seen. Today I am just sad. Today I just want to be hugged by someone who knew him. Or really, just by him. One of his great big bear hugs.

I won't be able to go back for the funeral, and I was talking to Deb last night about feeling like I will miss out on those physical motions of grieving.....walking through the receiving line, sitting in the service, standing out at the cemetary. There is something about walking those steps that helps. At least it did with Steph. I feel like I want to do something to make it feel real, so I can move out of this stage of shock. Maybe while they are having the service Friday, I'll hope on my bike and ride......

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